2004-06-03 [the 5th apocalyptic horseman]: yeah, i agree. i tend to write every little detail too and in that way exeed limits in contests lol. and i read that too that she went ionto the house...

2004-06-03 [eyes of frost]: thanks for re-reading that...if you did...!

2004-06-03 [the 5th apocalyptic horseman]: lol i read it like two times already but i didnt reread it now, no

2004-06-03 [eyes of frost]: did you read chapter nine?

2004-06-03 [the 5th apocalyptic horseman]: yeah. i like it.

2004-06-03 [mywolfalways]: Working on it. *chuckles* I still have a long way to go on everybody's stuff. I devoted the better half of this day to being an editor. -_-

2004-06-08 [eyes of frost]: i changed the page so there are now italics and bold letters where they are supposed to be!!!  muahahahahahahahahahahaaaa

2004-06-10 [Scarlet Lioness]: wow, you definetly have the talent for first person writing...there is no maybe's with first person, either you can and it's good or you can't and it sucks...this is really good, I really like your style of writing...I only got to chapter 5 but I'll read more when I get home from work! I promise!

2004-06-10 [eyes of frost]: thank you! does funny happy dacne!

2004-06-11 [the 5th apocalyptic horseman]: yeah... i cant write in first person. i tried but.... i cant even do it in essays. i usually write 3rd person from view of one of the chars... but tis not as good as yours, by far not.

2004-07-06 [mywolfalways]: Chapter Six: To tell you the truth I really didn't like it. Throughout this chapter there was a huge lack of description. When you did describe things, they just weren't described in the grandeur I know you were trying to convey with the wings and the naturally different colors of hair. I also think that you needed a lot more description about how this D&S place looked like. I did like how you described her reactions to everything that was going on. I think this chapter moved way too quickly with the lack of description and explanation.

2004-07-06 [mywolfalways]: The ending paragraph of this chapter really doesn't fit in with the rest of the chapter. It almost seemed like you didn't know where to put all of this information so you just stuck it there without an explanation. If you presented the information in a more relevant manner it would help. The problem is you don't give any indication when all this is taking place, and you also seem to skip ahead of the story when you talk about the two characters who are still in the prison getting married later on.

2004-07-06 [mywolfalways]: This chapter can be good with some revision. I will say that it was interesting, it just wasn't presented in the right way, I think.

2004-07-07 [Queen of Stars]: Like how you critique her work. You tell her what's wrong and needs to be fixed without being obnixous or overbearing. 

2004-07-07 [mywolfalways]: Thank you, I try my best.

2004-07-08 [Queen of Stars]: no problem.

2004-09-13 [mywolfalways]: May want to check your formatting. You've got some weird symbols mixed in.

2004-09-14 [eyes of frost]: I know.

I am restarting this story. Please bare with me until I can get up the first few chapters. Thanks.

2004-10-15 [mywolfalways]: Hmm...interesting thus far.

2004-10-15 [mywolfalways]: I'm a little lost about what exactly is going on here, but it it interesting.

2004-10-15 [Queen of Stars]: I'll read it when I have more time, I liked the last one, so I'm sure that I'll like this one too.